Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
