you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
