You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
