just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I think I won the penis lottery.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
