Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
They should really pass out barf bags in church
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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