THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
