Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize