these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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