I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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