Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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