Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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