Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
So many bounce houses so little time
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
