there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
