We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
