bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
