the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
