I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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