There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
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