Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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