The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
