I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
