under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
