can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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