just tell him i said nine months
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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