im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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