don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
