I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
