bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
