i'm signing you up for texting rehab
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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