question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
