A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I just threw up on my dentist
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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