he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He shit in the fireplace
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
