are you still at the devil's house?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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