Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
