That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
