So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
