Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
