o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
