Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
