i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
