someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
