I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
