Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize