So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize