We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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