drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
It's official drugs can't kill me
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
