You're a womanizer and a bitch.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Pants are for mortals
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
