What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Randomize