My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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