It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
