so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
