Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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