He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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