Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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