my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
