It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize