I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
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