Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
