I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
