New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize