sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
sex in a hospital.. check
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize