She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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