it was like eating out sand paper
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
