I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize