i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
You smell like a Billy Joel song
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
