the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
