Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
