Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
