Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
is that a dick in a sweater?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
