so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
