So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
The beer is more important than you right now.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
