maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
